Text Offender (digigasm) wrote,
Text Offender

I must have been weary from dodging consumers all day or something. I ate way too much pizza; like 3/4 of a 15" pie.

I woke up at 2:00am in intense pain. It felt like a third degree burn in my esophagus. I went into the garage, aimed my face at a plastic bag, and shoved my fingers down my throat. I got a little bit of it up but I was unable to summon the bulk of it.

I turned to the web for help. I googled for "how to induce vomiting." 5 minutes later I refined my search to "how to induce vomiting -dog -cat." A bunch of links to eating disorder sites appeared. Wouldn't it be just typical if I had an eating disorder?

I went to Haggen to buy some ipecac. The cashier asked if I wanted to use my Haggen C.A.R.D. I told her that I'd rather not let The Man know that I was buying ipecac at 3 in the morning. Rod knows what kind of junk mail I'd get. She just gave me a "whatever" look that is common among seasoned night workers.

I took my dose and decided to attach my new cymbal mount while I waited to purge. After 20 minutes I found myself back in position with my face aimed at the plastic bag. Damn, that shit works like a charm.

I took an antacid, drank a few glasses of water, and lay back down. 5 minutes later that was ejected.

Then I went to sleep.
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