Text Offender (digigasm) wrote,
Text Offender
digigasm

I must have been weary from dodging consumers all day or something. I ate way too much pizza; like 3/4 of a 15" pie.

I woke up at 2:00am in intense pain. It felt like a third degree burn in my esophagus. I went into the garage, aimed my face at a plastic bag, and shoved my fingers down my throat. I got a little bit of it up but I was unable to summon the bulk of it.

I turned to the web for help. I googled for "how to induce vomiting." 5 minutes later I refined my search to "how to induce vomiting -dog -cat." A bunch of links to eating disorder sites appeared. Wouldn't it be just typical if I had an eating disorder?

I went to Haggen to buy some ipecac. The cashier asked if I wanted to use my Haggen C.A.R.D. I told her that I'd rather not let The Man know that I was buying ipecac at 3 in the morning. Rod knows what kind of junk mail I'd get. She just gave me a "whatever" look that is common among seasoned night workers.

I took my dose and decided to attach my new cymbal mount while I waited to purge. After 20 minutes I found myself back in position with my face aimed at the plastic bag. Damn, that shit works like a charm.

I took an antacid, drank a few glasses of water, and lay back down. 5 minutes later that was ejected.

Then I went to sleep.
Subscribe
  • Post a new comment

    Error

    default userpic

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.
  • 3 comments