If it weren't for the 10% sales tax, I wouldn't bother.
If I were able to find some of this stuff locally, I wouldn't bother.
But I bother, don't I? Does that make me bothersome?
I came up with another catchy lyric in the shower today.
You're flying first-class
You're fucking that chick in the ass
Uh? Uh? C'mon...it's got alliteration and staccato. Be the first on your block to find my email address in my profile and request your own autographed pinup now. Don't be left behind. Don't miss this opportunity. Horrible things could be happening right now and you wouldn't have it. Go ahead. Indulge. You owe it to yourself. You deserve something nice. Because you work hard every day to make a difference. Your sacrifices are nothing compared to the joy you receive when you honor your fellow man and the earth and everything containing them.