Text Offender (digigasm) wrote,
Text Offender

I drove my motorcycle to work today. I noticed, five minutes into my trip that I had forgotten to fasten my helmet chin strap so I pulled over and fastened it. The air was foggy and I couldn't see out of one side of my visor.

I don't like to exceed the speed limit. Every time I do I get pulled over. It doesn't seem to matter that I'm going the same speed as everybody else. I get nailed. I got sick of getting nailed and trying to explain the hypocrisy to unsympathetic judges so I decided to never exceed the speed limit. I quickly learned that driving under the speed limit greatly increases the risk of collision. For one thing a law-abider must stay in the right lane or risk the ire of fellow drivers. The right lane is the lane that everybody has to enter to merge into traffic. As a consequence this is also the first lane to come to a screeching halt as traffic increases. Driving under the speed limit in the middle lane is better but not ideal. The middle lane is the lane the outlaws who never seem to get pulled over often jerk through without bothering to signal. Driving under the speed limit in the left lane will be met with much light-flashing, fist-shaking, and vulgarity. How dare I try to abide by the laws that the majority sees as necessary (until this majority gets behind a steering wheel)? How dare I delay your trip by 30 seconds?

I did what any intelligent person would do. I compromised between how fast I want to drive and how fast I'm supposed to drive. Until I learn otherwise I don't think a constable on patrol would bother to cite a person doing 5 or less under the limit. It just doesn't seem cost effective.

So when I'm driving alone in a car I drive in the middle lane and keep the needle under 65. When I'm driving my motorcycle I use the HOV lane and I keep the needle under 65. I use the HOV lane while driving my motorcycle because it feels like the safest lane. It's not the traffic merge lane. It's not the "fast lane". It may be to the left of the fast lane but I don't think that makes it the Faster Lane. Others seem to disagree.

I used to get frustrated by people that insisted on trying to kiss my rear fender in case I hadn't noticed that I'm not going as fast as they want to go. How can they be mad when I'm going faster than the speed limit which is what they want me to do and I'm going under the citation limit which is a gray area somewhere around 8 mph over the speed limit.

I don't get frustrated any more. I just let them do what they want to do. If they want to remain right behind me their chances of getting pulled over are reduced. If they want to remain behind me until I decide to downshift they will have blood and guts on their windshield while providing a lesson in safe following distance to the other interstate participants (not to mention a lesson in pain-and-suffering litigation). More often than not they ride my ass for awhile and then make a big show of passing me on the right while shaking their tentacles and firing spittle across their own dashboard. I just laugh to myself because I know something that they don't. The faster they try to go the more often they will end up behind somebody slower. And in order for them to exit the freeway they almost always have to go through the slow, right lane. I can't count the times some 'chebag has slammed the gas pedal to pass me on the right and, ten minutes later, we're reaching an exit at the same time.

Today was a special treat. Some flunkie on a street bike didn't like me blocking "his" lane by driving a paltry 65 mph. I knew he didn't like it because he made a big spectacle of swinging wide to the right and showing me how fast a "real bike" can accelerate from 65 to 80. Then the unmarked trooper right behind him made a big spectacle of pulling his lead-foot, full-fairing ass over. How much faster did you arrive at your destination, freakboy?

In other news I made an appointment to consult with a doctor specializing in sleep pathology. I hope that once I'm getting healthy sleep a lot of my problems will go away. The fatigue. The depression. The nicotine dependence. It's probably too much to hope. I don't like to hope but I do anyway.

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