Text Offender (digigasm) wrote,
Text Offender
digigasm

Friday's celebration of violet_rain and my fifth prime anniversary was fun.


I started the day by going to the reservation to purchase tobacco. While I was there I picked out my anniversary gift from Corinne. She got me a bottle of 12-year single-malt.

Drugs in hand I proceeded to the flower shop for 11 long-stem, red roses. For those of you that are new to this game I'll explain. Every year Corinne gets 1 rose and 1 dollar coin for each year we've been married.

I delivered the goods, put the last kid on a bus, took some pictures and did a shot.

We had lunch and did some shopping at the Everett Mall. For lunch I had halibut and freedom fries from Ivar's. Corinne had orange chicken, broccoli beef, and chow mein from Panda Express.

With full bellies we proceeded to Hot Topic. I wanted to get Corinne some new club clothes because she had complained about having to wear the same things when she went out. I suggested she should stop going to clubs. She didn't like my suggestion. While I waited for her to try everything on, I pretended to be interested in the t-shirts.

We left the babybat starter store and went to some girly smelly glop shop. Corinne wanted to get a birthday gift for d_n_v. I sat on a bench outside and watched Consumer Opinion Services until I got bored with that. Then I played hottie spotting. When I was done spotting all the hotties Corinne was still shopping at Stink R Us so I stared at my shoes.

After a short eternity she finished her shopping and we showed our asses to The Everett Mall as we pointed our tits toward Trader Joe's. Peppermint castille soap, low-carb candy bars, free coffee, pasta, soy milk.

Then we went home to greet the children as they departed the school bus. It was then that I executed plan "Get as Drunk as Possible." I needed to get wasted because I knew we were going to Alderwood Mall next and I knew we would be getting intimate after that and I wanted to dull the sensations so I could have a good time and last longer than my average 5 minutes. That plan backfired somewhat. I'll get into that later.

By the time Tina picked the kids up I was sufficiently intoxicated so Corinne drove us to the Macaroni Grill. It's a good thing I was fucked up because the place was crowded. Under sober circumstances I would've started freaking out. "Table for two, please." Forty minute wait. Corinne was famished so we grabbed a pager and left to forage. Once outside Corinne, being over the influence, came up with the idea to go back to the MG and sit at the bar until our pager lit up. I thought that was an excellent idea. The bar was crowded too but there was a stool available. I insisted that Corinne's ass should become acquainted with the stool while I observed from a more upright and rearward position. Mac 'n' Jacks for me. White russian for Corinne. Mac 'n' Jacks for me. Another stool becomes available and we do the barstool shuffle so I can sit next to my special lady. White russian for Corinne. Pictures. Fried moz with pesto and marinara. The pager lights up, we get a table, order more booze, make fun of the waiter, order food. Corinne had...I don't remember what she had. I had the 16oz Tuscany Steak with garlic mashed potatoes and grilled asparagus.

After dinner we went to the theater. We had decided ahead of time that we were going to see High Tension. The idea of a French horror movie piqued my curiosity. We bought our tickets and snacks and stood in line. Again, Corinne was thinking much straighter than I and she concluded that all these people probably weren't waiting to see a french horror movie. She speculated that they were probably waiting to see Angelina Jolie's tits. She was right. We left the line and went right to our seats in a theater full of five or six other people. The movie was okay. I didn't go into it expecting much. I got more than I expected which is always awesome. The story and acting were "meh". Even the slashings were kinda "yawn". It kept switching back and forth between subtitles and overdub but I think I know why. The thing that made this movie work, in my opinion, was the audio. I could tell a lot of care went into the noises and ambience and it really pulled it's weight by carrying the film. Creaky shoes, mouth breathing, big dripping wet smacking noises, corn rustling in the wind. I think that's why only half of it was overdubbed. They didn't want to ruin one of the only things it had going for it.

Movie's over. We go home and get naked. Plan "Get as Drunk as Possible" worked pretty good for me at the beginning. I was able to jackhammer the ol' lady the way she likes for a good long time. But I was unable to close the deal for myself. I was tired but I made sure Corinne got hers before I gave up.

In other news, I started riding my bicycle again. I'm going to bike until I turn into a scrawny androgyne like all the girls like. I need to get in shape for the Sounds of the Underground festival at the end of July. Ten hours of metal would kill me in my current condition.

Other stuff. Later.
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