February 16th, 2002


(no subject)

I had some fun today. I started glueing my Mt. Dew cans together at work. I'm building a pyramid out of Mt. Dew cans at work. It's going to have a 9x9 base followed by 8x8...until there's one can on top. It was kind of cool carrying around 40 cans glued together. I'll take pictures of the progress so you can see what I mean. It's going to be 9 cans tall :)

I did some socializing at work. First I took Don his present. I bought him a roll-up travel chess set. He christened it by kicking my ass as usual. Then I went to Ops and said hi to baphometsangel and talked to some other dude for awhile. Then I ordered a bunch of office supplies.

I went home so violet_rain could go out dancing. Gary called earlier and tried to talk me into going out too. He was pretty motivated to get me out. He said he'd pay for the babysitter. I ended up not taking him up on his offer because I hardly ever have a good time when I leave my kids with a babysitter.

My niece was abused, almost killed, by a babysitter. I've heard so many stories about bad babysitters. It just doesn't seem worth it. My kids mean so much to me. I would be devistated if anything ever happened to them. My Jade is so smart and beautiful. I have never loved anybody the way I love her. I've been feeling a little distant from Phoenix lately. Just because 2-year-olds require so much patience and attention. I love him so much though. He is my last baby and I cherish every moment with him. It's just not worth it to me to risk a psycho babysitter just so I can listen to loud music and watch people dancing badly; knowing that they are going to get laid tonight and I'm not. Cringing every time I have to spend $3 dollars on a drink. Bah! To hell with it. I decided to do something else instead.

I recorded a bunch of samples from "Body Snatchers" and "The Fly II". Hooked up the VCR to a B/W TV and my sound card. I'm probably going to need to buy a new VCR so I don't have to keep moving it back and forth between the TV and PC. I still have my entire video collection to plow through. After I have my samples all I need is a sequencer, mixer, amps, drum machine or digital drum kit, couple of keyboards, some effects processors....
I should be ready to perform by the time I'm 49 years old. After recording my sound-bites I jacked off to Isabella.

I met my new shrink yesterday. He's an older guy, maybe early 50's. He was wearing a god-awful pink sweater. I excused it, though, because it was Valentine's day. He's kind of a weird guy and I don't know if he's going to work out. He seemed smart enough and caring enough. But he has one of the habits that make me distrust people. He doesn't look at me when he talks to me. I'm always hyper-aware of body language and his body was telling me that he is either threatened by me, doesn't like me, or had way too much coffee that day. I'm probably overreacting, but I just can't stand it when somebody's talking to me and looking at the wall or the floor. We just talked about why I was seeking counseling and what I hoped to gain. He recommended that I read a book about depression before my next visit. I see him again on Wed. We'll see how that goes.

Chilly Hilly is approaching quickly (next Saturday) so I'll probably spend all day tomorrow trying to get the heap of junk in my garage to resemble a bicycle again. Then wifey and I are going to go out and celebrate V-day while Gramma watches the babies. I can't stand my wife's mother but I trust her with my kids.