I have a renewed sense of peace now that I have a puppy. It makes me so happy to have somebody so happy to see me when I get home. I have an exercise partner. I have somebody who will listen to me sing and talk and never complain. I finally have a dog after all these years wanting. And it is everything I dreamed it would be.
I have found a rhythm at work again. I am being productive and learning. For the first time in years, I feel like I matter.
These feelings I attribute to my new adventures with anti-depressants.
Not everything is rosy.
My sex life is non-existent again. I was brought up in a very physical environment. There were many hugs and kisses. Since I was brought up this way, I start getting edgy when I don't have physical contact with the people I love. My kids never want to hug or kiss me. My wife acts like it's a burden to be intimate with me and it seems like she couldn't care less if I touch her. This gets very irritating to me after a time.
I want to be desired. I want to be sought after. But these wishes are the things that will ensure I will never get them. I'm sick of being treated like an ugly freak. I am a beautiful person and I have much to offer. I don't have an underwear model's body. I don't spend alot of time or money on my wardrobe. I don't need to. I transcend pop-culture. I am a sexual powerhouse and the fucking word needs to get out.
I haven't gotten to play my drums in weeks.
It seems like no matter how hard I try, I'm not appreciated at home.
My car needs a tune-up and a new windshield but I don't have the money (mostly because I overextended myself buying a drumset).