Wife said something that pissed me off this morning. She said that she'll give me more blowjobs when I can play drums like Dave Lombardo. I read his bio. He started playing drums the year I was born. He played for 10 years before starting Slayer. That means I have to practice 8 hours a day for ten years before I'm deemed sexy enough to be given blowjobs.
Fuck that. It'll be faster and easier to find a girlfriend.