ok....I watch this camgirl sometimes. Her name is Isabella. For as long as I've been watching her and for as far back as her archives show, she gets turned on by fucking women or masturbating. Which is damn cool if you ask me. I'd send in my resume for any job that offers to pay me to masturbate for a living. Anyway, today, I read one of her newsletters. I was titled something like "First ever show with a boy." Pictures on the Yahoo group and all.
I was immediately interested. I went to look at the pictures and there's Isabella with a man's hands on her. And the most unsuspected emotion overpowered me. Jealousy! Just exactly who, or what, am I jealous about? Jealous for her girlfriend? Jealous that I'm not the guy? I don't know. All I know is that I know jealousy when I feel it and this was certainly it. Judging from her past, I just assumed she was a lesbian. As the initial rush of jealousy had peaked and was receding, I was blindsided by another, less elemental but no less powerful, emotion. I was horny as hell. I can't remember ever wanting to masturbate so furiously as in that short time-span. What a trip. Encountering bisexuality triggered jealousy which oxidized into sexual energy. I did not get to jack off because I'm at work and I have trouble concentrating when people are around. Plus, I was busy. This is not the first time this has happened, either. There was the time that I found out Haley was having sex and living with a woman. It happened when my wife slept with a woman. No wonder people are so fucked up. People are wired so that our most powerful emotions are channelled through sexual energy. I shall definitely have to discus this with my shrink when I get one.
Ok...my thing about bisexuals. Bisexuals scare me and make me feel threatened. I feel less evolved than bisexual people. If, in the future, there is a support group for the advocacy of the fair treatment of heterosexual people, I'll be the treasurer. I don't dislike bisexual people. Quite to the contrary, I hold them in very high regard indeed. I've even been involved with a bisexual lady or two. I would love to be able to include the other half of the population in my fantasies. It would provide more diversity and depth to my secret thoughts.
Jealousy, as far as I know, is a useless emotion. Sure, it might have been helpful, somehow, to early humans who were far more attached to the food-chain. But I can't think of any reason for it in modern humans. Yet it is, like, the fourth emotion developed in childhood. The first three being, love, need, and anger. If I worked in the Evolution Control Room in a sub-particle complex, I would get rid of jealousy completely. It serves no purpose and is so useless. But when you're feeling it, boy, it is blinding and powerful. To what end? Who knows? I think, in alot of males, it is connected to either a fear of showing or embodying weakness or some territorial residue left in our DNA from our animal brothers. Female jealousy? Don't have a fucking clue.
As I was dwelling on sexual tension while driving home, I got to thinking about what sex would be like if I were a different animal? I think I read somewhere that human sexuality has evolved in response to, and in parallel with our large brains, and our opposable thumbs. Because we have large brains we have proportionally big heads. This makes child-bearing painful (notwithstanding our upright posture on a spine that is still intended to be horizontal placing a lot of shock on the lower back. This is a side-effect of having opposable thumbs. Because we can use our thumbs to grasp, carry, and manipulate it is evolutionarily advantageous to be able to do so while walking). In addition to the pain of giving birth, humans are pretty useless and high-maintenance for many years. These add up to a species with higher intelligence that could eventually stop breeding out of laziness and fear of pain. Evolution will not tolerate this. So It has dictated that sexual activity feels good. Sexual activity shall feel better than anything. Good 'mones are dumped into our brains while having sex. I think our prescribed dosage was too high. Child-bearing in humans is now more of a side-effect of enjoying sex. So what would sex be if you were some other mammal. Like a lion. What is a male lion thinking when he is preparing to mount this sleek, muscular female? He's probably thinking something like, "Damn, I better not let her claws near me!". Lions have evolved to perfect the art of separating flesh from bone. If he doesn't make her come, he could be in deep touble (rimshot).