First of all, I've been nicotine-free for 1 month. It doesn't feel good. I still fight it every day. But so far I've not strayed from the righteous path. This is one of many milestones in my transformation. What am I transforming into? I'm trying to get as close to my ideal as possible.
I'm looking forward to my trip. My family and I are driving to Wisconsin to camp for two weeks. My sister is getting married in Milwaukee. I didn't want to go at first because I'm ashamed of the way I look and I didn't really feel like letting my old friends and family see me this way. I also didn't want to spend the money on plane tickets and hassle with baggage, car rentals, etc. But then my mom had to go and send me an $800 check. It seems every time I talk to my mother she complains about how much debt she has and how she's struggling to make ends meet. That she was willing to give me $800 of money she doesn't have convinced me to go. I called Mom and told her to void the check because I wasn't going to cash it. $800 is going to hurt me a lot less than it will hurt her. My mom is good with guilt trips :)
I was in pretty good shape before moving to WA. I was eating well and I was getting alot of exercise since my job was lifting 50lb boxes of refrigerated food for 8 hours every night. I still thought I was fat but I was scrawny compared to now. It's not surprising since all I do now is, get up take a shower, go sit on my ass for 8 hours, come home and watch a movie, and then go to sleep. I didn't want my friends to see me this way because I want them to be proud of me.
I've talked myself into believing that they will be proud of me no matter what. I mean, these are people I grew up with. They might think I've gotten fat. Even a few of them that know me well enough might say something about it to me. I'm not ashamed anymore. I had to ignore that aspect of my life for awhile to divert my energy elsewhere. Now my kids are a little older and a lot more independent and it's starting to free time up. I'm going to use this time to start replacing other bad habits with good habits. This trip will provide a nice transitionary period for me to slough the habits I've gotten into. Then was not the time to worry about my weight. That time is now. When I get back from my trip I'll have 6 weeks at my disposal to start a new routine before it gets all fucked up by being on call. What's going to change?
I am going to wake at 6am every day and grab a drink of water, urinate, and then take the dog for a walk for 30 minutes. When I get back home I'll do a different kind of exercise. I'm thinking I'll do the
walk or run dog/yoga
bike dog/push-ups and sit-ups
alternating every other day. On weekends I'll go hiking, biking, tennis, or swimming at least one day.
I would also like to resume biking to work at least once per week. I can do 20 miles/week. It won't kill me.
The diet is going to change as well. I am going to be holding myself accountable for what I eat. No more pizza, chips, ice cream, soda, cheeseburgers, phad thai, or burritos. I can probably shed 4000 calories a week without really trying. I'll still allow myself one day a month to splurge. Let's say pizza and a coke. Or a few beers at the bar.
According to most sources, the ideal weight for my height is 165. I don't think that's the ideal weight for me. When I was at my best I was 185-ish so I'm using that as an ideal. I think I would cause serious damage to myself if I tried to reach 165. I'm just a wide/stocky guy.
It should take me a year or so to drop the 40 pounds. Maybe 2 years. By then it should be easy to switch to more of a "maintenance mode" type diet. By then my kids will both be in school and I may have a chance of taking a few classes myself (yay).
I spent a lot of time with my wife this weekend. It was nice. We went to the Covenant concert together and basically just groped eachother and enjoyed ourselves. Yesterday we went to the theater to see The Matrix Reloaded and had filet mignon afterward. We talked about the movie and made fun of people and had a great time. It was great being with her; we've grown to be pretty good friends. We'll be celebrating our 9th anniversary on June 10th while we're in WI.
I've been feeling the music bug bite harder lately. I should revisit my drums.