Ok...I think the proportion of this is being stretched to it's limits. So now I'm obligated to defend my actions.
First, baby, you have no reason to feel self-conscious about your body. Your face is beautiful. I could kiss your breasts all day. Your ass is the most heavenly thing on this earth. You are, in fact, somebody that Pat Healy would affirm as being a "tight little package". There is no person I'd rather have as a companion in this comedy called life.
Now, to address the Isabella situation. This started as kind of an experiment. She runs an erotic web cam and produces hundreds of megabytes of media weekly. I think this is her only "job" (imagine a job where you can write off lengerie, bandwidth, and dildos as a business expense and your job is to masturbate or have sex:) Anyway, I started watching occasionally because lesbian porn is fucking righteous. But there isn't much interactivity unless you pay $20 a month for "membership privileges". I started watching more frequently when she posted a movie in her free section. Upon viewing the source of the webpage I noticed the filename and wondered if her filenaming conventions were consistent. In other words, it might be possible to view her other movies and live shows without paying for a membership. The only thing that interests me more than sex is finding a way to use technology to get things I normally wouldn't have access to. I was a lock-picker, security analyst, and rule-breaker long before I discovered masturbation.
So, with my curiosity securely tweaked, I started digging in. After figuring out how to get to the streams, and how to save them, I should have started to lose interest because the end goal is intelligence; not getting a bunch of shit free. But a few strange and unexpected things happened.
First, with my increased attention, I started to notice that she does a spectacularly good job. I don't just mean getting me off, but the business techniques she uses. When she's doing a live show, she hosts a chat room. This was a novelty to me because I was actually able to communicate with the temptress. She greets with courtesy everybody that enters the room. Be they paid members or free-loading guests. She talks to her viewers and seems generally concerned with their well-being and enjoyment. She always keeps the free section stocked with new media. She is banking on enticing more monthly memberships. But she does it in such a way as to not seem sleazy or obvious. She is, in fact, very generous with her free offerings. Her "mission statement" is to provide quality, fresh interactive erotica and she delivers through all media available. Text, photo, audio, video. I harbor fantasies that it is all a cleverly executed smokescreen for getting drug money, but she's probably just a regular 'ol nymphomaniac making a living by doing what she likes. Entrepreneurship at its finest, folks.
The second thing that happened to demand more of my attention was that she started fooling around with a guy! For as far back as her archives go, she has either done girl-girl shows (even a girl-girl-girl show or two) or solo. I was locked into the belief that she was a lesbian with a strong sex drive. But a week or two ago, she was getting ready to do a solo show when a male friend dropped in for a visit. She told him she had to do a show and had him wait around until she was done. She invited him to watch while she did the show but he was too shy and declined; preferring to wait in another room. Halfway through her show (after having an orgasm or two) her chat customers started rallying for her to get this guy into the room. She finally talked him into appearing on cam to give her a massage. The massage morphed into her giving him a blowjob. General excitement and bewilderment rippled throughout her little community. The next day, she posted a private movie she had recorded of her giving him the most phenomenal blowjob ever caught on video. All the while, she is soliciting comments from her fans and sharing her thoughts on her newfound kink for this mysterious male. To me, it makes her seem more slutty and has tarnished my fantasies of her. But at the same time, the drama and excitement she has created among her community are almost irresistable. Everybody's trying to figure out who this guy is and what will happen next. And it is exciting!
My last justification for spending alot of time on this project lately. A day or two before she went to the dark side, she sent a promotion to her mailing list. The promotion was 7 days of full membership access for $8. After seeing the blowjob video and the excitement that ensued, I decided to take advantage of the offer (sucker!). I mean, I spend $8 on a single magazine that provides less that half of the interesting twists that are currently being offered on isabellacam.com. Besides, I budgeted for porn at the beginning of the year and try to stick to my budget:) So for the past few days, I've been trying not to miss a live show so I get my money's worth. And for the same reasons some people try not to miss an episode of Survivor or X-Files. It's just entertaining.
Now, one might ask, "Mike, why didn't you just tell these things to your wife to spare her the agony of feeling jealous?" I would answer with two reasons.
I do not communicate well when speaking. My true voice is the written word. It is difficult for me to properly explain myself without being given time to organize my thoughts in writing. I have no backspace key when speaking.
I am rarely confronted by Corinne for such things. Most of the time she just lets it bother her more and more until she's walking around glaring and being short with me. Having spent my entire life surrounded by females, I naturally conclude that it is just PMS. In the rare case that Corinne does confront me, it is after she has been stewing for some time and has already made up her mind that she is going to be pissed off at me no matter what I say.
Baby, it's hard to maintain a romantic relationship when we are so opposite in so many ways. We both feel trapped, stranded, and underappreciated sometimes. We both get wrapped up in our own personal dramas and don't have enough time or patience to share our thoughts with each other. But I can't stress enough how important you are to me. There seems to be no limit to the pleasure I gain from just being with you. I still get butterfly guts when you kiss me or hold my hand. You have enriched my life with words, plants, music, scents, ideas that I never would have come in contact with had I not become involved with you. Isabella may have the power to distract me for a few days, but nobody has the power to distract me from the fact that you are the person I choose to spend the rest of my life with. You are my favorite! If I don't say it enough, it is because I don't want it to start sounding redundant and routine.
How's that for sappy?